Creative Steps

Why it is great to let resolutions fall by the wayside.

Mid-January is a great time to let those New Year’s resolutions fall by the wayside. You’ve tried; it didn’t work out, nevermind.

This might seem like failing – it isn’t, just call it feedback. It might be an opportunity to learn more about your values.

Do creative people need goals anyway?

When we are truly motivated by something it is likely to appeal in some way to our core values, so when our motivation falls away it is worth asking ‘would achieving this goal cause me to lose something that I currently value?’

This is one criterion for a well-defined goal, click here for the others.

It can be hard to make progress when our goals somehow conflict with our values. For this reason it is worth finding out a little more about your own values.

Getting clear on your values is also a great way to make sure you don’t end up another highly successful but essentially miserable person...you know the type of person I am talking about, they have got everything they said they wanted but found that it doesn’t actually cut it – it isn’t really the thing they valued.

There are lots of ways to get clearer on your values. Indeed, I have a few values exercises in the members’ area. However, if you want to do something quick and easy try this:

Step 1: Imagining you have walked in to a funeral. After a moment you look around the room and notice that it is full of your friends and family members and when you look into the open casket you realise that this is your funeral. This is your opportunity to find out what people are saying about you.

Step 2: Imagine talking to people that you actually know now (real people like close friends, relatives, colleagues) and try to imagine what they would say about you.

This exercise requires that you use specific comments that can be backed up by evidence – you need to collect the ‘because’ as well as the comment.

Imagine everything the people at your funeral would really say about you – and then think about how their words make you feel. (Even though this is a funeral imagine that the people are being honest and not just polite)

For example:

Your friend says you were special to them as you always had time for them. You feel good.

A colleague says you didn’t always follow through with your commitments and left work unfinished. This makes you feel slightly frustrated or embarrassed.

Step 3: In this exercise the comments that don’t make you feel good are the nuggets of gold. These are the ones that tell you in which areas of life you are not honouring your values.

For each statement that doesn’t make you feel good you need to ask yourself ‘what would I want this person to be saying about me?’

If you can answer this question you have probably identified one of your core values.

For example, you may prefer your colleagues to say that you always did what you said you would do. In this case, it might be that one of our values is accountability, or thoroughness. Play with it until you find an expression that makes you feel good. Then you will be getting closer to the value.

Turn the negatives into positives:

• Negative Statement: “He got it all too easy.”
• Positive Statement: “He made it look easy, although I could see the effort he put in.”
• Core Value: “Stoicism.”

And don’t be afraid to use your imagination when building a positive statement, add achievements you would like to hear people say about you as this might tell you the values you need to honour more:

• Negative Statement: “She struggled to make ends meet.”
• Positive Statement: “She worked on a tight budget for a while and then became a great success and died a very wealthy lady.”
• Core Value: “financial success is an important aspect to me.”

Talk with lots of people at the funeral; aim to find at last ten values . Ensure that these values cover all areas of your life, not just health, wealth and creativity. It is important to consider all of the major areas in your life.

Step 4: Write down your values.

How does it feel? Play with the words until you are comfortable. You will probably feel inspired and motivated by the words you have chosen.

If you made a New Year’s resolution can you see which value it honours? Can you identify any conflicts?

Remember: setting goals that conflict with your values can be de-motivational.

Use this exercise to help you move from values to motivation.

From motivation to values

Can you learn anything about your values by looking at what you find motivating?

I have selected three short motivational videos that appeal to different values. Which video inspires you most and what can you learn about your values?

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 13th, 2010 at 4:33 am and is filed under Goals, Video, coaching concepts. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.